I wanted to bring up a topic not so much to debate but rather discuss and it’s the way mothers attack each other rather than support one another.  If there is obvious abuse or danger it’s an obligation to intervene on a child’s behalf.  What happens is women tend to get lost in the minor details of parenting and make it a competition.  I dread the mothers at the park and my local YMCA for this reason.

Breastfeeding vs. Formula: Okay, my stance? Breast milk is natural and no doubt a mother (who is also eating healthy) will supply her baby with the most natural, nutritious and hypoallergenic sustenance. I also feel that women lack the family and friendship support to facilitate a less stressful environment that encourages breastfeeding and the patience it requires. This is not as common because women work just so the household doesn’t crumble financially. Also working, their mothers and probably grandmothers. My problem is women get militant about this and it is ridiculous.  Every circumstance is special and most women are doing the best they can.  There are times when a medication that can be excreted through breast milk is being taken.  Perhaps the mother simply has to go back to work and has no real choices, not every workplace welcomes the breast pump and breaks in order to do it.  Whatever the case formula is not poison, it’s probably less desirable nutritionally, however many babies appear to thrive on it.  Perhaps we can stop treating formula as if it were radioactive and choose what we will for our own child.  More so, extending an old-fashioned casserole too tired new mom instead of criticism.

Being Perfect vs. Admitting Faults: Another thing women tend to get overly catty about is who can pretend more.  Why is it not okay to admit you want a night alone, you don’t feel competent all the time, and your kid can be annoying.  While there are a lot of women who aren’t ashamed to ask for help, or admit they make mistakes, there are so many who want to keep an image.  It’s frustrating when you admit such downfalls you are met with disapproval. Who exactly made these women the authority on being a mother? The in-law and daughter-in-law relationship comes to mind as well.  It’s time to break these false walls and it’s okay to make small mistakes as long as it’s not intentional or hurtful. Furthermore it’s really not okay to criticize other women for the small things there are very real dangers and sadly, very real child abuse to worry about.

In conclusion I feel women shouldn’t be so hard on each other.  It’s not a competition and no one get’s a trophy.  So, show support, crochet a blanket and offer help. There’s no need for us to judge each other, our own fleeting insecurities are hard enough to cope with.